The Greatest Tip for dealing with Tech Support

If you’re like me you try to avoid technical support as much if not more than you avoid going to the hospital.  But sometimes you just have to.  Something doesn’t work right and its plainly not your fault.  What do you do?  Yes, you tap your network and you try to get around it as much as possible but sooner or later there’s nothing else to do but go through tech support.

Many times they can’t help you.  Most of the time you might be lots smarter than tech support.  But proving you’re smarter won’t solve your problem.

The best thing to do is play dumb.  Especially when you get the answer that sounds like “We can’t help you”.  This lesson comes from a good friend of mine who is one of the most tech savy persons I know.  He says you just need to know the magic words.  The magic words are:

“I don’t understand”

(Then repeat ad-naseum)

When they tell you that they don’t carry a part any more: I don’t understand

When they tell you that its not covered under warranty any more:  I don’t understand

When they tell you you’ll have to come back later:  I don’t understand

When they tell you what you’re doing is not supported:  I don’t understand

Then they’ll try to explain it again, and this will take them about 5 minutes.  After they have explained it, you simply repeat:  I don’t understand.  Then we go in circles until someone breaks.  Since its easier to say “I don’t understand” than to explain in 30 sentences why they can’t help you, you will eventually get some type of best effort non-standard support help.  I find that most people want to help you once they find you are clueless.  Supporting the arrogant is not as fun as supporting the ignorant because the person feels like they are actually doing good in the world by helping some poor clueless person out.

I told my friend about it today.  He’s been struggling to get a part for his old macbook.  He’s gone into the Apple store about 5 times.  Apple told him that he would have to send it in for  $300 part.  On this last trip he was armed with the magic words.  He just kept telling them “I don’t understand”.  They got so frustrated that they just gave him the part from off the shelf that looked brand new.  Problem solved.

The hardest thing about this method for me is doing it with a straight face.  Its much easier to do over the phone, otherwise I just can’t pull it off, unless I’m really upset.

Don’t try to prove you’re smart with support, that won’t get you anywhere.  Just play their game, pretend you’re stupid and let them have their moment to shine.  Most people want to do a good job.  This is another method of customer support judo.

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